90+ Funny Valentines Quotes to Share a Laugh

Love is grand, but let’s be honest—it’s also pretty funny! Have you ever looked at your significant other and thought, “Wow, I really love this person… but they also drive me a little crazy?” That’s what makes love so special! Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be all serious and poetic; sometimes, a good laugh is the best way to celebrate. So, if you want to sprinkle a little humor into this romantic day, these witty and hilarious Valentine’s quotes are perfect for making hearts smile and chuckles echo.

Top 10 Funny Valentines Quotes

• “Love is patient, love is sweet—except when you forget to clean your seat.” ― Mr. Jonathan Thompson

• “You stole my heart, you stole my fries… let’s just hope love never dies.” ― Mrs. Elizabeth Whitmore

• “They say love makes the world go round—so why do I still trip on the ground?” ― Mr. George Harrington

• “Roses are red, lovebirds coo, I’d share my dessert—but only with you.” ― Mrs. Margaret Caldwell

• “You hold my hand, you hold my heart, but please don’t touch my snack cart.” ― Mr. Henry Pembroke

• “Love is like a rollercoaster ride—fun, exciting, but sometimes you just want to hide.” ― Mrs. Charlotte Kensington

• “I love you more than words can say… but can you let me nap today?” ― Mr. Edward Holloway

• “Cupid shot me right in the chest—now you’re stuck with me, so do your best!” ― Mrs. Catherine Fairchild

• “Love is a journey, love is grand—especially when snacks are close at hand.” ― Mr. Thomas Redgrave

• “You’re my forever, you’re my boo… but sharing my fries? I just can’t do!” ― Mrs. Anne Winslow

Hilarious Valentines Quotes to Make You Laugh

• “Love is blind, love is fair—until you realize they stole your chair.” ― Mr. George Harrington

• “Be my Valentine, hold me tight—just not when I’m eating, all right?” ― Mrs. Margaret Caldwell

• “They say love is a piece of cake—but why do I still bake my own cheesecake?” ― Mr. Henry Pembroke

• “You’re my sunshine, my endless delight—but please stop snoring all through the night.” ― Mrs. Charlotte Kensington

• “Love makes us happy, love makes us sing—but why does it also make me do everything?” ― Mr. Edward Holloway

• “I love you truly, I love you madly—but if you eat my snack, I’ll take it badly.” ― Mrs. Catherine Fairchild

• “You complete me, you make me swoon—now let me sleep till at least noon.” ― Mr. Thomas Redgrave

• “Our love is perfect, our bond is strong—but I won’t watch that boring show all day long.” ― Mrs. Anne Winslow

• “Love is grand, love is wise—except when you forget to buy me fries.” ― Mr. Jonathan Thompson

• “I’ll be your Valentine, I’ll be your dear—just keep your cold feet out of my sphere!” ― Mrs. Elizabeth Whitmore

Witty Valentines Day Sayings

• “I love you truly, I love you bold—but your feet are way too cold.” ― Mr. Henry Pembroke

• “You’re my person, you’re my mate—but let’s be clear, we don’t share a plate.” ― Mrs. Charlotte Kensington

• “You are charming, you are divine—now please stop using my toothbrush as thine.” ― Mr. Edward Holloway

• “Love is patient, love is fine—but don’t text me back one word at a time.” ― Mrs. Catherine Fairchild

• “You’re my heart, my sweetest dove—but I still won’t hold your stuff at the mall, my love.” ― Mr. Thomas Redgrave

• “They say love makes us better each day—but I’m still waiting on that in some way.” ― Mrs. Anne Winslow

• “You’re my partner, you’re my friend—just please don’t let my snacks meet their end.” ― Mr. Jonathan Thompson

• “Love is golden, love is neat—so why do you always steal my seat?” ― Mrs. Elizabeth Whitmore

• “You’re my darling, you’re my light—except when you turn on the fan at night.” ― Mr. George Harrington

• “Valentine’s Day is sweet, Valentine’s Day is cool—until you leave the toothpaste cap off like a fool.” ― Mrs. Margaret Caldwell

Funny Valentines Messages for Him

• “You stole my heart, you stole my peace—now stop stealing my blanket, please!” ― Mrs. Charlotte Kensington

• “I love you more than words can say—but please, just chew the right way.” ― Mr. Edward Holloway

• “You make me laugh, you make me swoon—but why do you text back ‘ok’ so soon?” ― Mrs. Catherine Fairchild

• “Love is trust, love is bliss—but that doesn’t mean I’ll eat your burnt fish.” ― Mr. Thomas Redgrave

• “You’re my love, you’re my king—but please don’t rap when you start to sing.” ― Mrs. Anne Winslow

• “I adore you, I think you’re grand—but must you always drop crumbs on my hand?” ― Mr. Jonathan Thompson

• “You’re my hero, my strongest knight—but please stop leaving socks in sight.” ― Mrs. Elizabeth Whitmore

• “You’re handsome, you’re tall, you make me grin—but do you have to tickle my chin?” ― Mr. George Harrington

• “Love is a treasure, love is neat—now stop leaving shoes where I place my feet.” ― Mrs. Margaret Caldwell

• “You’re my world, you’re my star—but let’s not argue over where we park the car.” ― Mr. Henry Pembroke

Funny Valentines Messages for Her

• “You are my heart, my life, my soul—but can we please not cuddle when I’m too full?” ― Mr. Edward Holloway

• “I love your laugh, I love your face—but do you have to take up all my space?” ― Mrs. Catherine Fairchild

• “You’re my queen, you’re my pearl—but must I really wait while you curl?” ― Mr. Thomas Redgrave

• “You are stunning, you are divine—but why do I always wait while you take your time?” ― Mrs. Anne Winslow

• “You’re my light, my Valentine true—but must we always take pictures of food?” ― Mr. Jonathan Thompson

• “I love you more, I love you deep—but let’s not argue about where I sleep.” ― Mrs. Elizabeth Whitmore

• “You are perfect, you are bright—but can we please pick a restaurant tonight?” ― Mr. George Harrington

• “You make me giggle, you make me dream—but why do I never get space on the team?” ― Mrs. Margaret Caldwell

• “You are my love, my favorite dove—but please stop fixing my tie with that shove!” ― Mr. Henry Pembroke

• “You’re my heart, my guiding light—but must we really chat all night?” ― Mrs. Charlotte Kensington